Wednesday, September 12, 2012

My Space

There is nothing quite like it. Standing in your own space, a space that you have created (with the help of a housemate or two) and that is completely at your disposal. Standing in a space where you cannot be touched, where nothing can affect you and knowing that you are in your element.

There isn't much demand for a studio photographer in Grahamstown. I have only once heard someone say that they specifically wanted to have studio photos done, and even then it was managed without the use of a studio. But, nonetheless, I wanted to have one. I wanted to have this space to myself where I could bring people to create a little world of my own imaginings. For the moment, it is small. For the moment it is nothing more than a backdrop, a black stool, two lights and a tripod. But I can see it in a month, a year, a few years time. I can picture myself slowly gathering props, am already gathering them, and building a space not just for myself but for my clients as well.
I can see myself learning, gradually at first but ever faster with the experience that I gain, how to control the light, how to manipulate the background, how to direct people and make myself the master of the space. For now I am still shy, still coming to terms with what needs to be done. For now, I am still capturing the moments as I see them instead of creating them with my directions. For now, I am watching, learning and slowly becoming comfortable with what needs to be done. I am slowly learning how to tell people what to do, what will look best. It is a slow process, but it is happening.

I am making mistakes, I am realising what looks good and what doesn't, what light to use for which complexions, what poses to ask for and which to avoid. I am learning behind the camera and in front of it. I am gaining experience and confidence slowly but surely and am reaping the rewards in the forms of Thank-You's and Wow's. There are still moments when I look at the photos that I have taken and see what could have been done better, but that in itself  is a learning step and one that I am happy to take. I am coming into my own, adapting, shaping both myself and those around me to the point where I can have things as I want them to be, and this is the one area where that is achievable. In this area of my life, I can make sure that everything goes according to plan, where in most other areas I don't have control.

This is my place of control. This is where I get to show off myself, my skill. This is where I feel most comfortable. So... SAY CHEESE!

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